Your Whisper Stilled My Heart

Thu, 15 May 2008 19:58:47 GMT

I'm sitting here with the prettiest of little cats balanced precariously on the back of my chair. She would rather have been in my lap, but the computer was already there. She doesn't know what she wants, and I wish that her box on the counter next to the microwave were still there so I could just set her in it when she gets annoying. Lord knows, it weird being here with her, and my one-eyed Pekingese and Squeaky, my grandmother's cat and no Zorro. Ace is starting to look slightly more like normal as his hair grows back in, but losing the eye not only destroyed his very symmetrical looks, but also did away with the beautiful markings around his eye. The neighbors also have a three-legged Puggle (Mr. Puggles), and we've all decided that Ace and Mr. Puggles need to go as pirates for Halloween, since one needs an eye patch and the other a peg leg. Oh! Speaking of the neighbors next door, we got to see their ten day old filly! She's so sweet and cute, much nicer than Ian, my uncle's colt from last year. They have another mare due to deliver any day now, and I'm so excited that I'm going to be here for that. It's the funniest thing in the world, watching the babies try to graze, since their legs are so long, they have to get them all splayed in order to reach the ground.

The plan for tonight: retail therapy. I dragged out a blanket I crocheted a few years ago for my bed here (it was supposed to be double size, but ended up a little big and I thought, "Well, gee, it'd make a good queen-size." Lo and behold, it's too big for the queen, but who's counting?), and I have NOTHING that matches it considering it's all sorts of bright green, purple, and peach. I want to make a throw and some pillows to match, but I need to get the yarn first.

Uh oh. Squeak is right here by Boo. That's a lethal combination, especially when the violent one is right by my head.

Wed, 14 May 2008 00:01:03 GMT

I could hurt people right now. I'm lonely and depressed and TRAPPED in this house, and missing my friends only to check my lj friends page to see that one of them, and you know who you are, was in Virginia YESTERDAY and didn't bother to tell me she was even going to be in the country. I don't know anyone here at all, and then lo and behold the friends I was missing so much apparently don't even care enough to tell me when they're going to be around.

The trip out here, though successful, was the trip from hell. I nearly got killed a couple of times, especially when the rain got so bad I couldn't get the car moving up the mountain, or the other time when it was coming down so hard I couldn't find my dad ahead of me, or the road.

Sat, 10 May 2008 05:45:40 GMT

I'm so happy! My mp3 player that I believed dead works! I'm so relieved that I'll have music for the trip home!!!! I was really stressing out over this, because music is incredibly important to me, especially when I'm alone in the car for 7 hours.

The packing isn't complete yet, but the car is nearly full. The only open spaces are the front passenger seat and a few inches behind my seat. I'm going to be so relieved when dad gets here tomorrow to help me with the rest, though I feel really bad that he's going to drive from like 5 in the morning after driving all day yesterday just to get here to do some heavy lifting and turn around and drive the next day to Ohio again. What a hectic week for him!

In 15 minutes, I'm going to go gather my emergency load of laundry from Moore and get some sleep in order to not die tomorrow.

TMI

Fri, 09 May 2008 05:25:23 GMT

Nothing is going the way I want it to, and I know that the only reason I'm sorta flipping out about any of it is that I'm having a really weird period. The weirdness of hormones, plus the changes going on around me, and now the lack of time in which to deal with everything has just all added up to a very weird haze around me.

Meanwhile, I almost died a couple times today, saw a movie at the dollar theatre, and rescued stranded alums from Wal-Mart. At night. In the rain.

Sun, 04 May 2008 20:33:41 GMT

So, I've sat down a couple of times in the last few days to update, but as of today, my friends' page is nothing but emo, so I thought I would write something happy to try to pep it all up a little. The sun is shining, the temp is great, and I've been to the park. Go be happy! The world loves you!

Sun, 27 Apr 2008 15:07:10 GMT

I mentioned my bizarre sleeping patterns in my last entry; what I didn't mention is how it's becoming harder and harder to come out of the dreams I'm having, and they're not good dreams. They're not nightmares like they were last week, but they're not any less disturbing, and consuming.

Sun, 27 Apr 2008 03:56:35 GMT

I had some great philosophical question I wanted to pose to the world, but I can't remember what it was anymore. In the meantime, I have had the weirdest sleeping habits, falling asleep in the late afternoon, sleeping until evening, then up again until the middle of the night. I'm beat from this horrible schedule, so tired I managed to work up the strength to go to the park and back today, then came home and collapsed while on the computer. I did get out the rest of the scene I'd been laboring on for a few months now in my fanfic, which I know will just thrill Kirsten to no end. Now, I'm stuck. I've spent so many months trying to get to that point that I have no idea what comes next. Well, I do know what happens for the two characters I was focusing on, but the two (or one, either way, I really don't know) I had to get out of the way seem to have just dropped off the radar; I don't know what to do with them. I guess I'll try to get some more sleep now.

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 16:58:40 GMT

Ok, so today I have my final comp and art history classes. My final piece for comp isn't ready, and I'm afraid of how badly I'm going to have to hurt myself in order to perform it; I probably should go to the doctor to get that leg looked at, but what are they going to tell besides ice and ibuprofen? Last night it was seriously swollen compared to my other thigh. Ok, so I'm nervous as hell about this piece, because it just isn't really finished, and I just want it over with. I would give anything to have someone else perform it. I would skip art history in order to work on it, but I just can't, especially since she already likely is upset with me for my late paper. Then tonight I have to read the play for Ren. Drama, and do my entire journal for living anatomy, neither of which is a small task, plus doing any laundry I can since I'm out of clothes, and I need to be packing anyway. Then there's the whole argument of when I should leave campus; mom emailed me today to ask if I wanted to stay through dead week and Daisy Chain, which I'm somewhat tempted to do, but the other part of me wants out before all the graduation stuff. For those who don't know, I'm officially not graduating because of a one credit class I've failed and will take over the summer as an independent study in Ohio. Yeah.

Wed, 16 Apr 2008 16:34:09 GMT

Don't talk to me. I need a hug, and to be left alone.

Mon, 14 Apr 2008 22:48:52 GMT

I need to get back to the dentist. That filling he put in my tooth has chipped and practically dissolved so my tooth is all jagged again, and kinda aches a little. I have a cleaning scheduled for this Friday, so I'm not rushing, but it's really starting to bug me. I don't know why he he didn't just cap it.

Secondly, I ran into Dean Wallace this morning while taking down dance concert posters; she tells me how I'm failing and won't walk at graduation, and need to talk to Pam. I email Pam and ask her if I can do a research paper; she says she needs to talk to Dean Wallace first. Grr. These people need to communicate a little. I want to just turn in that paper I wrote last year comparing Romantic ballets with Gothic literature, and get it over with. It's, like, a 12 page paper, and well written at that. I just want to graduate. I want this all over with. I know I should be flipping out about all this, but I'm scarily calm.

Now I have to go to Chinese culture. *hate* That class is awful, but at least someone caught me and told me my presentation isn't today but Wednesday, which makes my life so much easier. Then I have to teach someone my dance that's due tomorrow in musical theatre. I can't believe we only have three MT classes left, and none of them are instructional since we're going to be doing presentations the rest of the time. *sigh*

Oh, no!!!

Wed, 09 Apr 2008 04:51:39 GMT

What does this mean for the next season of Dr. Who???

dress rehearsal number uno.

Wed, 09 Apr 2008 04:37:00 GMT

The first half of my piece tonight went almost flawlessly; I was so proud, I was standing in the wings trying not to cry. The second half had a lot of flubs with the lighting because Hannah doesn't know the cues yet. Here's hoping that gets fixed by tomorrow night, since it's the last rehearsal. Now I'm headed to bed to sleep on some of the things the instructors said, namely that they hate the black tights and leotards with my costumes. At this point, I'm fairly certain I'm going to keep the black, rather than go nude, for reasons of modesty--even apparent modesty--for my girls. At first, I was thinking I might be willing to give in on the tights, but I remember watching them dance at tech without black tights, and while their legs looked beautiful, the girls seemed top heavy without something on the bottom to balance it. Giving them nude leotards isn't going to make them any less top heavy, either. Besides, I love the more modern feel of the black under all that color. I would feel perfectly comfortable wearing such an outfit down the street, if this wasn't Lynchburg.

On another topic, I got my teeth fixed this morning. That is to say, they filled one of them. I didn't much care for the dentist I saw, but I think that was partly a result of him being very busy. It's nice to be able to talk and chew again (though I'm still a little unsure of the chewing part). I don't have much more to say about that.

Tue, 08 Apr 2008 03:39:05 GMT

For the first three people that reply to this post, and who re-post this challenge: you win!!!

For your prize, I will send you a gift.

It might be something I've made, or something cool from my hidden stash off abulousity. It might be a mix CD, or a rubber duck, or a book I think you might enjoy. A love letter, a useful object, or something else that is awesome or maybe just taking up room in my house.

Whatever it is, I promise I will get it to you in 365 days of your posted comment or less, and I will need your snail mail.

The only thing you need to do to receive your gift is PARTICIPATE.

Be one of the first three journalers to reply to this, and post this very same thing in your journal, and YOU are the lucky giftee.

Mon, 07 Apr 2008 20:14:09 GMT

So I managed, somehow, to break two teeth last night. The soonest I can into the dentist is 9:30 tomorrow morning, and hopefully it won't take too much to fix them. They don't hurt, just ache a little, but the one is jagged, and I feel like I have to be very careful when chewing and brushing my teeth.

I would give a big recap of the wedding, but most of my LJ friends were there, so it seems pointless. They're married; I caught the bouquet. Beautiful ceremony. Everything you can want out of a wedding. I still need to get the Dr. Who scarf back so I can finish weaving in all the little ends and put the fringe on. I'm a little disappointed that I got SO CLOSE to making it as long as it should have been, then had to cut it by about four inches.

The costumes for my piece are almost finished, and they're gorgeous. All of my girls' legs look fantastic in them, and I'm sure they'll be even better once the costumes have actually been sewn. I'm really happy with the way the piece is coming out, especially since we put the lighting to it yesterday. We just need Amanda back so we can make sure the cues fit her (she had to leave for a funeral).

I feel like I should have something more to say. But I don't. Sorry, world. I'm boring.

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 15:52:00 GMT

I still need to do some laundry, and shove a few things into the closet, set up the beds and then I'm done and ready for the Finns. The spinning wheel is getting in the way; I'm not sure where to put it that it won't get damaged (ie, in front of the window is not a good option considering the bizarre weather changes lately). It went from cool and HUMID in the morning yesterday and hot and DRY in the afternoon (everywhere but the dance studio, which was a sauna), and then it got cold again somewhere in between the time I took off the extra blanket and was deeply asleep. I hope my mom remembers to bring the stuff I asked for (like, a lightbulb because the one I have in my most frequently used lamp died, and pillows for the Finns).

Then there's my schedule tonight: we're actually rehearsing in Smith...SCARY! I just hope Pam doesn't feel the need to drop by while we're working on the still not complete sections. At least it's damn well finished. Dammit. FINISHED. I just have to clean and clean and clean and clean, and fill in those little bits.

Anyhow, I need to go take some ibuprofen cause I've managed to beat up my toes and elbows severely in the last few days (2000 pages+hardback+corner down+landing on the very top of my big toe=*pain*). Food and clothing might be a good thing, too.

dance concert stuff

Mon, 31 Mar 2008 16:18:46 GMT

And so begins the rest of the scheduling nightmare. I have rehearsal every night this week for the tango piece, twice for mine (one of which is a conflict with Laura's schedule), and then we tech my piece on Sunday from 7-9pm. Then there's the emailing the profs with the classes I have to miss, due to both rehearsals and the performance next week, and the library hours I have to find someone to cover (just realized I need someone to cover the Friday of the concert as well). Blah, I hate this part. I think my spinning wheel already feels neglected.

...they were suspicious of where your loyalties lay.

Thu, 27 Mar 2008 19:48:36 GMT

One can tell how busy I've been that I've only posted once this week. And it's been a hell of a week. But that's a different story for another time. For now, I want to just enjoy the beautiful weather, put on a pair of shorts and relax. That's not going to happen; at least, nothing after putting on shorts is going to happen. I need to clean, and read for Ren. drama, and transport the concessions to the theatre before class. I wish I had time for a shower, since I'm decidedly gross after dancing in that sauna of a studio today. Meanwhile, there's snow in southern Finland...haha. I laugh at you...I do. I'm sorry, but that's just funny. A year ago at this time, we were just getting out for spring break in England, and we had those two beautiful weeks that I spent writing and enjoying my clean, gorgeous room by myself with those huge windows; god, I love that house. And the garden, with the roses in bloom and the sunlight streaming through the trees. I'm not trying to be romantic for the past; I thought all this when I was there. It was great. I do miss how green England is.

Let the games commence.

Wed, 26 Mar 2008 16:40:52 GMT

I went to bed at 7:00pm last night. Asleep by 7:30, I was only awake from 5-6am, then out again until 11:00. What a wonderful feeling! Now I need to go take a shower (took the time to ply some yarn that I'm REALLY proud of), then have to work on my piece for comp since it's apparently going to be the FIRST one shown in class today. Ugh. It's site specific, so hopefully no one will be in the Main 3rd kitchen for the 10 minutes that I'll need it this evening.

Monique visits tomorrow! I need to do some more cleaning on my room tonight before she gets here (I know she said she doesn't care if it's that messy, but I at least need to make it so that I have a place to set the ladder for the top bunk). And it freaked me out a little last night that I couldn't make it through my room in the dark without the fear of knocking over the spinning wheel, so I can only imagine what it would be like in here for someone that doesn't know the room, or the way the mess is organized.

Meanwhile, Pam wants to see my piece during senior sem on Thursday, but...panic...it's not finished. I was doing well as of last night, totally relaxed (hence the sleeping), but now...ah, hell, I'm going to go take a shower and hopefully I'll be a little more calm.

Thu, 20 Mar 2008 20:57:01 GMT

I don't care if I'm teaching the class tonight or not, I absolutely refuse, flat-out, no questions asked REFUSE to read the last speech of Elizabeth Cary's "The Tragedy of Mariam" simply because it covers three pages and over 100 lines. Who needs to talk that long? No one! Not even King Herod (and no, not the one that killed JtB). It was a stupid, bad, AWFUL play, which really makes me sad, since just about all of the plays we've read so far have been great, and this is the only one out of the bunch that was written by a woman (feminism for the suck). The only thing I can say in its defense is that it had an awesome fight scene between Salome's husband and her lover (again, not the Salome of JtB fame), and also that it was never meant to be performed, only read. Even still, I'm totally not going to sit there and read that! And so, instead, I'm going to go find dinner and try to think up some crap to talk about for tonight's class.

Tue, 18 Mar 2008 03:33:58 GMT

Ok, so I have this flannel comforter that I just adore. It has really colorful snowflakes on one side, and snowmen on the other; the deal is, the snowmen are all wearing these cool hats and scarves, but there's this one fantastic scarf and I've gone a little nuts and already dyed the wool to make it. Silly me, I tried spinning some of it while it was still damp...slimy wool is not fun. But I'm so excited! I just need to finish the project on the needles I want to use; some of us know what project I'm talking about.... Once I have enough time, I'm sure it won't take long to spin up this wool, and how awesome will it be to have a completely hand-dyed, handspun, hand knit scarf? It's going to be really colorful and brilliant! Why am I so excited about this? I totally need a life.

Sun, 16 Mar 2008 22:24:38 GMT

I feel like I swallowed a little demon with a big knife. He's ripping at my insides, hacking and slicing and dicing, until this ends like a scene from whatever movie it was that Spaceballs parodied in which the alien pops out of the guy's midsection. If it would make the pain go away, I would drag at my skin with my own blunt nails. Anything to make it stop.

Sun, 16 Mar 2008 02:33:05 GMT

I know this sounds so weird (and Kirsten, ignore this, 'cause you've already heard it all), but I'm in love! With the Germans and their DVDs! I have this totally cracked version of Cinderella from the 1950's that's completely dubbed because it was originally in German. We stumbled onto it at Wal-Mart in Nebraska many years ago, but lo and behold, the original is for sale on a brand new DVD on the German Amazon. I don't think 15 euros is too much to ask...not really...considering how much I love that movie. I'm so happy to know that it's available! And I've always wanted to see the original to hear what the true voices and songs sounded like. OMG...I'm so happy!

Fri, 14 Mar 2008 23:00:18 GMT

I'm trapped with my foot propped up because of that damn ankle, so I'll spend my time posting here. My dog lost an eye this morning. Apparently, the surgery didn't go particularly well, in fact took two hours to complete. Plus, while he was at the vet's office, my mom was at the emergency room with my grandmother, who seems to have passed out twice in the car, along with convulsions. She's fine now; at least, they couldn't find anything wrong at the hospital, but all the same, it's kinda scary.

I wish I could remember how long you're supposed to keep ice on an injury at any one given sitting. I should have taken ibuprofen, and this is an old injury that I haven't iced recently even though I should have. I'm just trying to get it up to par so I can actually dance during my rehearsal on Sunday. I have new parts for the second half, but I still need to work on bits of the first half. I'm rather annoyed that I'll go to change something and suddenly my dancers will admit that they hate that move, but up until then, they just humor me and won't tell me when something doesn't work. And I don't care what they say, that one move was and always has been on the left foot, dammit, the LEFT foot!!! I never changed that, they just didn't do it right the first time.

So many little prospectives on campus today! I wish that I would honestly sell this school to them, but I can't. Also, they make me feel old. How little 17 and 18 year old boys be so hot? I'm horrified at my own pedophilic tendencies.

Tue, 04 Mar 2008 17:06:48 GMT

Sorry...it just reminded me a little too much of the sheriff on the BBC's Robin Hood. I promise, I will not get addicted and start putting these up everyday.

Let me sing Ohio's praises...

Mon, 03 Mar 2008 17:03:50 GMT

...or I'll just curl up in bed with my dog and be perfectly content. What a relief to be here, how nice it is to just relax and have my cat and puppy. *sigh* I guess this means life can be good again.